The stock market is dropping hundreds of points every day.

Gilbert Arenas claims he will be healthy in November or December (we’ll see–count me among the skeptics).

Alex Ovechkin has only 2 goals in 7 games.

Guns ‘N Roses has set a release date for Chinese Democracy.

I repeat: GUNS ‘N ROSES HAS SET A RELEASE DATE FOR CHINESE DEMOCRACY.

I have posted on the blog once again.

Tulsa football is ranked in the top 15. TULSA FOOTBALL?!? Sheeeeeeeeeeeee-it (stolen without remorse from Clay Davis of The Wire), I didn’t even know Tulsa had a football team.

Yes, the man in the flip flops and plaid shorts with the Armani bag said all the things below. He also plays in a heavy metal band. I promise.

“I remember back when I stood in line for 3 hours waiting for autographs, and when the star just hopped into his limo, and took off, I’d think ‘You dick, I hate you.’ I’d go home, rip down all his posters…”

-James Hetfield

“We can do whatever the fuck we want, really. We’ve got carte blanche. I mean, when we did ‘Fade to Black’, that was our first ballad and it really blew a few minds out there. People wrote us off then; ‘Fuck them! It’s over. It’s no longer speed metal.’ Okay, fine. You can feel that way. But fuck you, too.”

-James Hetfield

“You know, it’s not as different as I thought, which is kind of disappointing. But it’s fine. Everyone said, ‘Oh, your life is going to be totally different,’ and it’s the same. Which is good, in a way.”

-James Hetfield 

“In the early days, when we were playing clubs around LA, people didn’t understand what we were about. ‘Oh,’ they’d think, ‘a God-damned punk band,’ and they’d throw chairs at us.”

-James Hetfield 

“We’ve come here, TO KICK YOUR ASS!!! …That’s why you’re here, right?”

-James Hetfield 

“Who gives a shit about autographs?”

-James Hetfield 

“We didn’t fuckin’ set out to make history or whatever. Fuckin’ shit happens.”

-James Hetfield